I Like Your Form: Confessions of a Personal Trainer
After graduating from high school and working several dead-end jobs, JD landed a job as a personal trainer at a newly opened gym. It puzzled him just how much money people were willing to spend to train with him despite the fact he was so inexperienced. He then started learning the ropes of the business and carved a niche for himself training well-to-do housewives and successful older women. As time goes on, he finds that not only can he help with their physical demands, he can also help them out with their erotic ones.
JD starts to fight an internal struggle between making money satisfying his clients and knowing what he is doing is wrong. All it would take is his girlfriend or any one of his clients’ spouses to find out about their sultry affairs, and everything could blow up in his face causing him to lose his career. However, it’s very difficult to turn away from the attention of many attractive and sexy women.
I Like Your Form is a hilarious and honest collection of stories giving advice for personal trainers and clients. Based on a true story, JD’s real-life confessions provide a look at the lesser-known aspects of personal training.
I’m not gonna lie. I was enjoying the fruits of my labor. My job at Precision Fitness was awesome. I was in the midst of what seemed like an endless stream of women who needed my services. I couldn’t turn my head without running into a client who was hounding me to “hang out” or “get together.” I will be the first to admit that things were quickly getting out of hand, but it was getting so easy that I was beginning to feel like I was on a yearlong tour with Mötley Crüe, complete with all the backstage debauchery one only dreams about. With my managers sending me all the women between the ages of twenty-seven and forty-seven who walked through the doors of the gym, I felt compelled to do what I needed to do to keep this train rolling. I was making great money and having a good time doing it. I wasn’t about to possibly jeopardize all that by turning a woman down and, in the process, possibly stopping my steady influx of women from management. As far as I was concerned, I had built up a reputation and needed to uphold it—like when that order of extra anchovies came in, someone had to deliver. Call it some sort of sick pride thing, but I felt obligated to continue my ways. I had also managed to stay drama-free. The way I saw it, I would continue to steer my present course as long as I didn’t get caught or experience something that would make me look in the mirror a little harder and seriously reconsider my ways.
So how about Mary Ann? Could I possibly make room for one more? I sure could. She fit the description of my typical female client perfectly: Already in shape, check. Very cute, with a golden-brown tan year-round, double check. In addition, Mary Ann was legally divorced, so any extracurricular affairs would be in the clear, triple check.
Tony, one of the sales managers, introduced us. Within seconds of meeting me, Mary Ann completely shifted her focus to me and seemingly forgot that she had just spent the last ten minutes talking to Tony. It was as if Tony ceased to exist. I hadn’t done much more than say hello to her, yet she already had this huge smile on her face. Could she already tell that she would end up in bed with me? When this type of shit happens to an average guy, how could he not think of himself as awesome? Tony just laughed and left us to talk, as he quickly noticed the connection and knew immediately where this was going to eventually lead.
Mary Ann was a petite thirty-nine-year-old Italian woman with a dark complexion that seemed to stay sun-soaked tan no matter what time of year it was. Her hair was a satin-like dark black, and fortunately, she lacked hairy arms, a feature that plagues some Italian women. If there was a trace of a mustache, she must have had that thing well waxed or lasered because I didn’t notice a furry upper lip. She had these thin little legs and weighed no more than 110 pounds. She had long, curly black hair and always wore a little extra makeup to the gym. At first glance, Mary Ann didn’t appear to be in need of a trainer, but who was I to turn away a paying customer?
Where are you from? Tell us a little about yourself!
I was born in Philadelphia and have kept a piece of the east coast with me no matter where else I have lived. Like anyone else who has ever worked in a gym, working out just became a daily habit and luckily has continued to this day. Throughout my 20’s I travelled quite a bit while pursuing an education and of course worked as personal trainer along the way. Now I have a “grown up” job but still get the chance to train some people on the side and spend some time everyday writing about the madness I see in the gym.
Tell us about your book? How did it get started?
Since working as a personal trainer through what I like to refer to as the glory days, I accumulated a wealth of stories over the years. Based on the encounters I had with the hundreds of clients I trained, it became apparent I needed to start writing these unbelievable stories down on paper. After sharing them with my friends and running the idea by an old professor, I was motivated to bring “Confessions” to life.
How do you create your characters?
There wasn’t much guesswork on this one, seeing how the book is literally based on my body of work as a personal trainer. Every character in the book was someone I either worked with or trained at some point in my career. The only trouble was coming up with appropriate fake names for the select few clients who happened to make the cut.
What inspires you and what got your started in writing?
I have taken some writing classes but never really thought about pursuing it once I started working. I always had a passion for writing but had no clue how to put all the ideas & thoughts I have into something that a reader would find interesting. So through quite a bit of trial and error and with the help of a great editor I saw my progress each day and gained the confidence necessary to write this book.
Where do you write? Is there something you need in order to write (music, drinks?)?
Right now I have a small office in my house that I do most of my writing, but I must say I have come a long way. Most of “I like your form” was written in the public library or on a terrible IKEA breakfast table that was not built for comfort. Things are thankfully much better these days and I have the added plus of having SiriusXM on my computer, which makes any episode of writer’s block I’m having disappear in no time.
How do you get your ideas for writing?
Everyday life is what I find the biggest goldmine in terms of getting new ideas. For example in my weekly blog about all things related to the gym, I just need to sit on the bike for 10 minutes and just people watch. After that I’ll have enough ideas for several blogs and, wouldn’t you know, people never disappoint when it comes to doing something crazy.
What do you like to read?
I love reading books of all kinds, especially humorous books by Howard Stern and autobiographies of anyone remotely interesting. I have always been a fan of Stephen King and still keep up with whatever he comes out with. Being new to the writing game, I’m also discovering hundreds of first-timers like myself that aren’t mainstream but put out some great books.
What would your advice be to aspiring authors in regards to writing?
Get used to hearing “No,” or “You aren’t good enough.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard it and can say that it is difficult to grow thick skin overnight. If you have an urge to get something out of you and onto paper, just do it. If you have a fear of failure or rejection, do whatever it takes to get over that and at least give it a shot because you never know what could come of it. The satisfaction you get when you see your first positive review will be well worth the challenges you faced to finish.
Anything else you’d like to share?
Catch my weekly blog at www.jdconfessions.com for a comical and out of the box look at some of the more interesting things going on in the gym. I explore everything from the out of shape trainer to the guy who carries the huge gym bag around. I always say if you can’t laugh about what’s going on in the gym, you might as well not be there.
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