Review: Ever feel like the friendship is over or have had that experience? Then Dumped is the book for you! I know I have experienced this with friendships and it makes you think what went wrong. These authors explain that although the pain is strong, it happens, and its life. The stories really bring comfort is a great read for those going through the same thing.
Getting dumped sucks—and no, we don’t mean by a significant other. We’re talking about the atom bomb of abandonment: Getting dumped by a best friend. Millions of women who know the universally-experienced-but-rarely-discussed trauma of being dumped by a close female friend can relate to the candid stories in Dumped: Stories of Women Unfriending Women (She Writes Press, $16.95 hardcover, March 3, 2015).
Twenty-five celebrated writers—including Jacquelyn Mitchard, Ann Hood, Carrie Kabak, Jessica Handler, Elizabeth Searle, Alexis Paige, and editor Nina Gaby—explore the fragile, sometimes humorous, and often unfathomable nature of lost friendship.
The essays in Dumped aren’t stories of friendship dying a mutually agreed-upon death, like falling out of touch. These are stories of suddenly finding yourself erased, without context or warning.
There should be an Adele song for this—and now, the millions of women who have cried over the inexplicable loss
of a friendship can bond over the raw, charming, funny, and soul- baring stories of women who know how they feel.
From teenagers to soccer moms, teachers to friends, Dumped is for women who enjoy Bridesmaids as much as Little Women, or HBO’s Girls as much Anne Lamott and Alice Munro. It will make women ages 16-70 smile, cry, laugh, and best of all, say “Me too!” as they
learn that being Dumped by a close friend doesn’t mean going it alone.
Where are you from? Tell us a little about yourself!
I’m originally from Rochester, NY, but went to art school in Jerusalem, Israel, and later The School for the American Crafts at Rochester Institute of Technology. I had a decade long career as a studio artist, the high point being asked to show my sculptural porcelain at the Renwick Gallery of the Smithsonian Institute. The pieces are now part of the national collection. I guess I got bored after that, and decided to go back to school, and got a master’s degree from the University of Rochester School of Nursing and became a psychiatric nurse practitioner. I also got married and had a beautiful daughter at the age of 40 while my husband was in grad school and I was working three jobs.
Tell us about your book? How did it get started?
Well, as you know, the subject of the book is when woman friends dump each other. So back to Rochester, NY.: We were feeling pretty stale when we visited an old friend of mine and ended up buying an old inn across the road from her in a small New England village. The friendship ended, the economy went sour, and the village became an uncomfortable place to be. In response to that, I began to write a novel using some of the situations we had faced but as fiction. I had always wanted to take my writing seriously but didn’t have the confidence or the time. It became kind of a survival mechanism for me. I started writing, submitting and getting published. I was also doing some art at the same time. My good fortune, that of having a strong creative streak, became my resilience. While I was contributing to anthologies and finding a voice in essay writing, I met Brooke Warner, my current publisher at She Writes Press, when I published at Seal Press where she was the acquisitions editor. I had the idea of taking my very painful experience of being dumped by my friend further, and creating a collection of essays that could address this all too universal theme. Brooke accepted it at She Writes, and I decided to take another gamble and publish in this very new hybrid/partnership model. So the novel was redesigned into Dumped: Stories of Women Unfriending Women. The novel is finished as well, about eight revisions sitting on three different laptops! I am still working full time as a psychiatric nurse practitioner, so I have to choose my projects carefully.
How do you create your characters?
Since I am focusing on non-fiction at present, the characters write themselves. My job is to put them into a universal context that others can relate to.
Where do you write? Is there something you need in order to write (music, drinks?)
We sold off half the inn and live in the building that was built in 1790. My writing room has the original stenciling from 1800 and looks out over the longest floating bridge on this side of the Mississippi. I need loud music and no one around except my Golden Retrievers.
How do you get your ideas for writing?
Everything is inspiration. The stories of resilience my patients share every day, the news, the interactions I observe between people, the lyrics of a song…nothing is safe.
What do you like to read?
Right now, I am taking an online class in writing medical narrative, so I am busy reading essays with a critical eye, which is hard for me, as I love to read for pleasure.
What would your advice to be for authors or aspiring in regards to writing?
It sounds so commercial, but I really mean this: Just do it. But also read, and listen, and get excited. It has to be something that you just have to do. Set goals. Love the process.